It's All good! the Power of Positivity!

It’s All Good   The Power of Positivity!  

Jess and Cathy talk about how important it is to look at the bright side of things—the glass is half full versus half empty.   Cathy is known for saying, “It’s all good”—in her conversations.  She thinks it’s from the “Life is Good” theme t-shirts.  Even if something goes wrong, it can turn out good, there is a remedy or solution. They give lots of examples how that kind of attitude spreads out to the people around them. We get smiles back when we give someone our smile.  Jess reads someones name tag and calls them by name like she knows them.  Everyone deserves to be seen!

Theme song and host introduction. Jess and Cathy welcome listeners to There You Are, introduce themselves, and share what the show is about and who it's for.

Theme song and closing words from Jess and Cathy, including a call to action to share the episode, leave a review, and tune in next week.

Cathy is a professional at training and teaching the sport of Three Day Eventing. Her website is: 

https://www.cwevent.com

Jess is a licenced clinical social worker.  She see's clients in her office in the back of the house here at the farm.   

Her website is:

https://www.jessicabollinger.com

Transcript

jess-and-cathy_1_06-16-2026_063618 1:38

There you are. Hey, Cath. Hey. Good morning. Good morning, Jessie. Good morning. It's all good. Yeah, we have some guests staying, and we're in my office at the desk and I was sitting on the right. So we're not sitting at the kitchen table. No, we're not at the kitchen table. I was sitting at the right, and I looked at you and I said, "You need to switch places." You said, "Yeah, it just doesn't feel right." It doesn't feel right. Yeah. I need to be over here. You get your own little spot. Exactly. Like at the kitchen table. You always like to sit in the one spot. Yeah. And I sit in one spot. Yeah, and when we have guests, we say, "Okay here's where I sit. You can sit over here." Exactly. Yeah. I think we talked about that before, but anyway. Yeah. We talked about fear last week. Yeah. And I think that, the opposite of fear is love. Living love. Exactly. You have said something that you say often. You say, "It's all good." It is all good. It's all good. It's all good. And when you say that, that puts me at ease. If I have a fear or if I'm worried about something, you say, "It's all good." Or if something happens unexpectedly, it's not to plan you say, "It's all good." Tell me- I, I- tell me more where that came about with you. I don't know. I think there is a phrase out there that says that is all good. It's on T-shirts and stuff. But I think I just picked it up because I really try to positively manifest anything- and everything. And there's always, people say your glass is always half full. Mine is perpetually always half full instead of looking at it as being half empty. Yeah. And I think that's not that I've had a ton of adversity in my life, but to have to- Luckily we're blessed. We are blessed to, to have to go to that. But I think that I say it a lot because n- I feel it in my body, I feel it in my spirit, that everything is always all good. And if there's a negative out there, there's always something that you can find positively. In I'm trying to think of an example of somebody breaks down with a, a horse trailer or something and that was a bad deal. You had a flat tire. You couldn't change it or something. But then someone comes along and helps you and, so you always have to positively manifest and, and look at the bright side of everything. Yeah. And I think that then that puts it out there to the world that there's n- usually not a lot of negati- negativity in my aura around me. And then that spreads out to other people. They feel that. Does that, does any of that make sense? Well- I'm running around in circles here. I'm having you describe what's going on with you and yeah, that makes sense that you're telling me how you feel and how, why you have that perspective. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And so things roll forward in, in better ways- yeah when you say it's all good." I'll come up with some panic thing like- my, my, my horse is lame. I go, "I think he broke his leg." He's fine. He's fine. And he is. And he is. Yeah. Horses can look really lame when they have a, an abscess. A horse can, if their feet are like our fingernails, if you get- A hangnail if you ever get a hangnail- A little tiny hangnail something stuck underneath there, it drives you nuts and that hurts, and they're trying to walk on that and they're like, "Man, this really hurts," and they can look really lame. And I do remember you saying that, "I think he broke his leg." Oh no, he didn't. He's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't take away the inquiry to find out what's wrong. No. And to fix something. And it's not diminishing the concern. Yes. Does that make sense? Yes. Like poo-pooing, no, but it is trying to, "Hey, let's look on the bright side here, and let's not go to the place that he broke his leg." Anyway. Yeah. So I like to say that also. It's all good. Yeah. Because it makes me feel better just even saying it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just that flip, and a flip of thought to move from the negative or the fear to a positive. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah There's somebody I think that worked for me one time and, I'd walk into the barn and I wouldn't get a smile or something, and so I just had to ask them like, "Look, could you just say good morning with a smile on your face or something?" Instead of, "How much work have I got to do today?" And and that positively puts out- Made it, and that made it better. So much better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love it that Nikki has a contest when she sees you, who's gonna say good morning first. I know. I know. So Cathy's assistant trainer Nikki, I'll hear her door shut. The house sits above the barn, and I'll hear, "Iggy," when she closes- A little beep her door, a little beep. Yeah. And I'll go, "Morning, Nikki." 'Cause we have a contest who can say good morning first. Yeah. Yeah, and the same thing when I walk in the barn and see the guys. "Morning, guys. Morning, Willie. Morning, Nudie." And always really making a point to say hello and that positivity and that inflection in your voice is is huge to make them feel, instead of walking in the barn and not saying anything or going right to my office or- Yeah saying, "Hey, guys, this, I saw this wrong yesterday," which doesn't happen very often, but No. But- No being able to... and learning that, it's all good is talking to people about difficult things and always get... I did have to talk to the guys a little bit about how to manage. We have a guy that works for us on Sundays, and there was l- just a little miscommunication because he comes in and only does Sundays, and so he hasn't been there all week. And and so we just had to have a little more communication. But, you don't start out with that. You start out with, "Hey, guys, it's all good," and, "The barn looks great- and Willie, thank you so much for mowing the jump field, and everything's beautiful." Looks so good. Yeah. And so let's now have a, and a discussion about how we can manage Hardiel's information, and then they were able to give me feedback about- Yes h- about how they can help him. And so- it's so cool just to have that- That discussion that discussion- In a positive way in a positive way. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well- i- Her eyes are lighting up. My eyes are- She's ready to, she's ready to expound on this. When I start my sessions- Yeah In my office with couples, we start with an appreciation. Exactly. And they say, "Something I appreciate about you is..." And that gets mirrored back. So their partner mirrors it back. And then they say, "What that tells me about you is..." And then they say what it's like to be in that space with you. So then they that all gets mirrored by the partner, and then the partner switches and says what they appreciate- what it tells them about- Exactly. Yeah them, the partner, and what that space feels like. So they start off in a good spot. Sure. Yeah. Like your s- your conversation with you being Willy. Yeah. Yeah. So if you start off with that spot, you start off with that smile. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And- And then it is all good. Yeah. It's all good. Yeah. And then the session can roll on from there- Absolutely in a more positive way. Yeah. With a good intention. I like to use the word curious. "Hey, I'm curious about..." And then instead of, "Why did you do that?" That puts the other person- way on the defensive on the defensive. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But it's interesting that you say that because I know that I hear that, I'm curious about this and... Or there's another phrase that we use all the time, and I can't remember it right now, but it's funny 'cause y- it takes you back to, "Oh yeah, I know what you're doing," that used to happen with Lucas, I think- a few times. You're like, "What do you mean you're curious? Then we're not gonna do this dialogue thing," yeah. Yeah. Yeah, curiosity. Yeah. Yeah. It you o- you go in with an open parachute. I- okay. Yeah. With an open mind. I was gonna say- I don't ever want to parachute. I know we, You're gonna positively manifest- I'm gonna- you're never gonna parachute I'm gonna positively manifest I could never jump out of that plane. I don't care how safe it is and how many para jumpers are hanging onto me, making sure I get down safely, I will never do it. Yeah. We s- we can be positive, but we can still be positively making the choices we wanna make. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. So I th- I like that about you. It's all good. It's all good. All the time. Yep. And so many times there's been something that's happened and I always say, I'll usually say, "It's all good and everything happens for a reason, and you always gotta look at the bright side." And that's like a mantra, yeah. It's all good. Everything happens for a reason. Always gotta look on the bright side. And my dad would say something like "Do your best, but don't let it get the best of you." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That feels good. Y'all think about yourself, like how you could reframe something or what helps you think about something more positively or, you, what's your intention? Exactly. When I walk, when I go on my walk today, I'm gonna smile at people. And then you're gonna get a lot of smiles back. Yeah. I've been really intentional about doing that just in the last few years of looking somebody in the eye and saying, "How you doing?" Or, "Good morning," or- "how you doing today?" Complete strangers, and they like smile back at you and it's like- Oh, yeah and that's a fun game to play. I love to play it. It is. I'm not out and about in the crowd that often, but Yeah, I'm in- But at the grocery store or something like that i'm in Kroger's checking out, I always first look at their name tags. I say, "Marcus, how are you doing today?" Oh, I don't do that. "What's going on today?" Okay. Yeah. Like- I say 'em by their name. Yeah. Yeah. Like when I had the fruit market and people would give me a check. Which people used to do a while ago. Before credit cards, and I'd look at their check and see their name. And say Lisa, thanks so much," "It's so good to see you today. What do you got going on today?" Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah the story about the name though, 'cause my full name is Cathyanne, C-A-T-H-Y A-N-N-E, and that's all one word. Yeah, no middle name. No middle name. And so literally at burn boot camp, I think it was Heather. She kept calling me Cathy Ann 'cause she- and the Ashley that worked with us the other day I don't know how she knew our names, but she must have studied 'cause, or sh- she'd Maybe she'd been to a few trainings I'd see her, but I don't know how she knew. She prepared herself. She prepared herself. Yeah. Exactly. And so you felt, oh wow, she knows my name. That's pretty cool. And this is the first, this is the first session you've been to with this new trainer. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. But anyway- And she knew your name. And she knew my name. Did she call you Cathy Ann? No, she didn't, see? And- Yeah and Heather had probably looked, and she goes, "Good job, Cathy Ann." And I was like, "Ugh. Nobody ca-" Only my mother calls me Cathy Ann, and she's passed now. And Betsy Watkins. And Betsy Watkins who lives in, at Longwood Farm in Ocala, Florida. Yeah those are the only two people that can ever call me Cathy Ann. I'm not allowed to call you Cathy Ann. You never call me Cathy Ann. I'm not allowed to. No. And Cathy Ann was, when my mom said it- You were in trouble I knew I was in trouble. Cathy Ann. Exactly. Yeah. But then Betsy says it as a loving, loving joke. But anyway, I had to correct. I said, "Hey, my name everybody just calls me Cathy." Yeah. "Oh, okay." Yeah. Yeah. That was all good. I fixed that. And then Ashley must have gotten the word. It's not really Cathy Ann. Yeah, so knowing somebody's name really makes them feel good- Oh, absolutely when you call them by name. Even the person at the grocery store that's got the name tag on. Exactly. They don't know that I'm just calling them by their name tag. They're hearing their name. And I've got a kid that's boarding with me and training with me now Tilly, and and- That's her first name, and it's sweet yeah, but it's not really her name. Yeah. So I get the schedule of my ride, riders to coach, and I'm like, who is I'm like, Ally, I don't Ally, Yeah that's another boarder that does my times for me when I have to coach at events, and I'm like, "I'm not sure I know." She goes, "That's Tilly." And I said, "Oh, okay." And it's a combination of two of her names I think. And so- Yeah I had to kind of- Get my head around that of recognizing, yes. Someone's name written down, that's not... I know her as Tilly, but, Yeah anyway. Just kind of- observations. Yeah. So something else that we were talking about the other day that you positively do is in this business people sometimes jump around for different trainers and so forth- or different things happen. And you never burn bridges. Yeah, no. Yeah. No. I love that about you. Yeah. I love that about you. That, that you know that we're in this world together- Exactly and we might circle around and come back- at another spot. Exactly. 'Cause we're all on the road we're on. Yeah. And then something might happen that causes a rupture- or, and it's good to communicate- Yes and get it all lined out. Exactly. But by chance it doesn't- Yeah you you never burn a bridge. Because we could circle back around and our roads could be, and the person could be at a different spot of the road and- Exactly we can really show up for each other. Yeah, for sure. I love that about you. Yeah. I learned that a long time ago, don't do that. Yeah. It's- It's not- or saying something bad about somebody. It's not... exactly. That never- yeah that never can circle around and bring something good back. No, for sure. Definitely. No. Always in the positive. And I don't like to hear- People talk about people No, I know, and peop- somebody does that to me I'm like, "Nope I, I-" no I don't wanna hear that I don't need to know that I don't need to know that. I want my experience, what, my knowledge about that person to be what my firsthand experience is. Exactly, yep, yeah Because I'm me- Yeah and I haven't had that happen to me- with that person And I do that. That, that has happened to me several times, and I just stop people. Yeah. I was like, "No, I don't-" I don't wanna know." It doesn't. Everything I know about that person is good, and it doesn't feel good in my body to hear them- No whoever it is start- No to say whatever it is about somebody, and it- Yeah so I'm like, "That's not my world." Yeah. My world is- Yeah is that it's all good. Now, for sure there's some people I feel better energy from, and I try to hang around the people that I feel better energy from. Exactly. Yeah, but I don't have to say anything bad about anybody I don't feel good energy from. No, that doesn't work. No. No. And then I think it all kinda relates. I just turned my head, I see a dog laying on the couch behind us. Yep. I never have a bad dog either 'cause I al- That's right I always say I have a, I al- I'll always have a good dog. Exactly. And so I always have a good dog. Yep. They're sleeping. Yeah, so you ma- They're sleeping we manifest it- Good dogs, yes 'cause we will always have a good dog. Yep, for sure. Yep. I love that. I love that. Yeah. So it just makes life a lot better. It does. Ev- the sun's always shining even if it's behind a cloud. That is true. Yep. Yeah. I'm getting s- I'm getting some stuff worked on. And then I think I'm glad I found out that needed to be worked on," exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So it's all good. It's all good. Yeah. Yeah, so you can't think about where that started when you started to say that. Like I said- It's all good I think there is a T-shirt or s- a phrase. No, that's life is good. Oh, see? That's where it came from, though. Life is good, and I adapted it to it's all good. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And I'm not sure when I started saying that, like, all the time, but I do say it all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and some- somewhere, some- some place there, somebody had a little sign that said, "It's all good," and they got it and they brought it here to you to hang in the office. No, so John Wells is a builder and a designer, For, for- For cross country courses courses. He does the same thing I do. And I'm not a builder, but but anyway, he was at a little antique store in Virginia. W- in Lexington, Virginia, 'cause he was working in Lexington, Virginia at the Virginia Horse Trials, and he saw the sign that someone had made out of metal, and it says, "It's all good." And he took a picture of it and he goes, "I j- just thought of you, Cathy," and sent it to me. Yeah. And, You're like And I was like, "Oh, that's so cool. How much is it? Buy it for me," so- and he did. So he bought it, and then and then one of my students went to Virginia to compete in No- I think it was in November- Yeah l- last year. And and so I had them, they hooked up with each other and he gave her the sign to bring back, and then we hung it up in the office. I know. And I said, "How..." It was $14. I go, "Do you do Venmo or something? Or I'll have her pay you." It was only $14? It was only $14. Wow. And of course, John said, "No, I don't need the money." "I was happy to find it- and think of you and get you the sign." So it's kinda cool 'cause it's hanging above the off off the light or the- heater in the barn. Yeah In the office. So it's above your desk. It's above my desk. Hanging in the office. Yeah. You won't hit your head on it. No. No. So- But I hit my head on the tack hook because it was down for Beezy. Oh, we didn't put it back up. You... I put it back up as soon as- Okay I hit my head on it. But- You could've hit your eye on it. I know. But see, you gotta look at the bright side. I didn't. It's all good. It's all good. Yeah. And I think that emanates out from you, Cathy- and here at the farm. Like, when people come, they say when they drive down the driveway they feel a sense of peace. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. I love that. And Latifa says that. The animal communicator. When she comes and visits us. Yeah. And she says she feels it. It's kinda fun. Well- It's kinda cool we'll sell a horse and then the horse, something happened to the horse, so the horse has to stay here and, 'cause they don't wanna leave. No, I s- always kinda joke when I have one, decide I'm gonna sell one of 'em and and "Why'd you pull a shoe today? You're supposed to be tra- No, I don't wanna leave here. I'm gonna make up something. I've got to stay here- at Station Farm." But that doesn't happen too often, but it has happened in the past. And w- and I always joke about it, it's "Oh, I guess he doesn't wanna leave." Yeah. Yeah, so it feels better inside when you have this kinda attitude, it's all good. Exactly. Switch is a negative thought. Yeah. So- think about your all's day-to-day after you listen to this, how you can switch and you can move in towards positivity. And that also brings up to me, just saw my eyes light up, when I was growing up, I always listened to Norman Vincent Peale The Power of Positive Thinking. Yeah. I had all his books. Yeah. You- I was all in read a lot more than I did growing up. I don't, I think, I don't know how I got introduced to that, but it just inspired me. At the library maybe. I went through all my years of college and didn't ever go to the library, so And it's all good, I graduated. There's a bar in Lexington, it's called The Library. My dad really liked that. "Where'd you go? Did you go to the library tonight?" Yep. Yeah. So r- I've always wanted to be more positive 'cause it just feels better. But sometimes- Yeah, so- I just gotta pick myself up and take myself over to that other track of positivity. The... When we used to have the answering machines, remember? Oh, yeah. I s- I called up, I go, and Jess had, back in the day of a landline and there was an answering machine. I said, "Jess, you sound like you're about to die or whatever." I know. You're, you need to change that message. My voice, my inflection. My voice and my inflection. Yeah. I sounded like Eeyore. And it just, yeah, I don't mean to do that. No, I know. I'm just- But just so that woke me up, and so intentionally- You changed the message I changed the message. And another thing, y'all like when I answer the phone, you, on the cell phones, there's no more landline. I see it's, I see it's ICE in case of emergency. People go, "Who's ICE?" I say, "That's Cathy." It says in case for in case of emergency- yeah somebody finds my phone if I'm on the side of the road. Same here. Yeah. Yep. Anyway, I see it's you calling, so I'd go, "Yeah, what's up?" Yeah. And, and- Good. What do you want, Cathy? Yeah. What do you want? And so you requested because you w- you want me to have a little bit more positive inflection. Yes. So you want me to answer in more positive ways. Yeah. So she had that request. This is a relational thing that we've learned, yeah. How to interact and how to ask for what we need. Ask for what we need. Yeah. So you asked me to be more positive, and so now- when Cathy calls, I see it's her, I go, "Hey, Cathy, thank you so much for calling." "I'm so glad to hear from you. Oh, thank you so mu..." And we just laugh. Even though I'm going- Exactly the other extreme. It's fun. It is fun. It's fun. It's fun. And it makes me laugh for sure. And then my request from you was, like, if I need something. Yeah. I'd always think I was a pain in the butt growing up. And I couldn't ask for anything. So I'd say, "Hey, Cathy, could you..." And I'd hear you go, And I, "What? I got it myself." And you're like, "What?" "I heard you take that deep breath." And you're like, "Oh, I was just breathing." And then in turn you- Say to me when I ask for something, you go, "I would love to" I would love to. Yeah. So I'll say, "Hey, could you get the lights?" "I would love to." No matter what it is. No matter what it is. Yeah. I would love to. So think about your day, how you can turn it around and how Test it out. Oh, we have a really positive person at the barn that's even more positive than you, Cathy. Jocelyn. Jocelyn. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The name of her horse was something with positive in it. Happy Farm. She has Happy Farm. Yeah. And anyway, I go, "Jocelyn, do you ever meet people that are just real grumpy?" And she goes, "Yeah, and I just try to be super, super-" Super, super. I know, exactly super, super, super nice. Yeah. Just to try to get out of it, just to Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I do too. Yeah. 'Cause I just wondered if anybody could tarnish her positivity. Nope. And she just turns it on even more. Exactly. I love that about her. I love that. That's great. So y'all think about what you can do, and change the light around you. Amen. Yep. It's all good. Turn up the light. I've got my, I've got my fingers on my chest. Turn up the light inside of you. Yeah. It's all good, and that emanates out and spreads out, and you'll get more smiles and more positivity back. Sounds like a plan. Yeah. Yeah, and then that relates to the next thing is Edith used to say, "Hey, don't come with me with a problem. Come with me with some solutions." Don't just tell me you have a problem. Come with me, and at least have- Yeah thought about a solution. Yeah. And that's a positive thing- Absolutely if you- Yeah if you'd like, "Okay this happened. I'm gonna tell you that this happened, but I I made three calls to some auto body places-" and we're gonna fix it." And th- this is the best estimate I got to get your truck fixed up. Yeah. Your truck did go down the hill backwards and hit two fences, but it only hit the tailgate. That's right. We'll tell you that story later on. We love you all. Have a great day, everybody. require positivity. It's all good. Peace and love. Bye. Bye.